Altered Sound

Hello, and welcome to the second episode of Altered Sound, brought to you live from the Boulier Building in inner SW Portland. I’m your host Lu-Ke-Tan, and you’re listening to PRA, Portland’s finest pirate music station, streaming online at praradio.com. It’s Nov. 16th, and the title for today is “Kreaking, Rolling, and Lifting”.

The elevator is a very perticular machine. It’s one of the only forms of machinery that I know of that transports you vertically, although I imagine you could have an elevator that would transport you sideways and slantways and longways and backways and squareways and front ways and any other ways that you can think of– but the ones that I always go in just seem to go up and down, up and down, up and down.

Just like WKRP, PRA’s station haas got some height on the penthouse level, and we have a nice woman who runs the elevator during business hours. She’s nice not just because she does seem to be a sincerely nice person, but she’s nice because when she isn’t there, you have to start climbing. I’ve had to do it before, and I’d hate to be a smoker and have to run the midnight shift here every night.

I sort of wondered about that job, elevator operator. Are there any vacancies? They all seem to be run by old timers, and maybe when they’re gone it’s time to either tear down the building or at least upgrade the elevators. Although you might have to relocate to acquire one of these choice positions, for anyone interested in becoming an elevator operator, I did find a couple of vacancies on the internet. Here’s some of the job description, curtesy of careerbuilder.com:

–cue elevator noise

PUSHES BUTTONS OR MOVES LEVER TO CONTROL MOVEMENT OF ELEVATOR ON SIGNAL OR INSTRUCTIONS FROM PASSENGERS OR OTHERS.

OPENS AND CLOSES SAFETY GATE AND DOOR OF ELEVATOR AT EACH FLOOR WHERE STOP IS MADE.

SUPPLIES INFORMATION TO PASSENGERS.

MAY SWEEP OR VACUUM ELEVATOR.

–exit elevator noise

Something that does most assuredly transport you horizontally, or at least me and all the other folks who can’t afford a car or the gas to put in one, is the BUS. And Portland has a real impressive, integrated mass transit system. I think there are at least a hundred different bus lines that run daily, plus the streetcar and the Max. My Personal least favorite of all the bus lines has got to be the 20. I think they numbered it twenty because that’s how many minutes you can expect to wait irregardless of what time you arrive or what the shedule posted says. No disrespect intended to the drivers of route 20, or tri-met. I recognize it as the inability to have a bus that runs up and down the main thouroughfare in the city that respects any sort of schedule, especially with the burnside bridge under construction.

–cue bus noise

I almost called off my trip to the Kool Kieth show last Friday in frustration after waiting for what seemed like forever for the 20 to show up. I placed my handy edirol r-09 so that it layed flat on the bus, and tried to catch the thick humm of the engine.

–exit bus noise

–cue floor noise
Another fairly popular way of transporting oneself, vertically or horizontally, is by feet.
Whether it’s pacing the floor or walking up stairs, if you’re in a building that’s old enough to have wood floors, chances are you’ll find a squeek somewhere. I like this creak that I found in the room where I’m staying at the flophouse.

It makes for good percussion.

–exit floor noise

Enough chit-chat, let’s hear some altered sounds. The following composition was created using samples of floors kreaking, busses rolling, and elevators lifting. Get out the headphones, listen, and please do enjoy. This is Lu-Ke-Tan for PRA Radio.